The Adversary

Here I stand, facing down an elusive feeling
Who will blink first,
"Not I !" I scream in my mind
It may be a silent scream but it is potent
...or so I envision it as my adversary cowers in fear
Fear.
Is it fear who now fears me?
Is this possible that I should find fear in this manner?
Find it
Face it
Overcome it
Fear of the unknown
Fear of the almost known
Fear of the shadows
Fear of the depths
Fear of death...
Ahhh, I find the truth
Death is the last bastion
Shall I face death itself before overcoming all of my instinctive fears?
How many faces does death have that I must triumph over each?
Death of self
Death of another
Death of a loved one
Death of a child....
Death of a child...tears spring to my eyes
They turn to fire
The heavens have no fury great enough to withstand my wrath over this thought
Who dares threaten a child, my child!
But it is only a thought
My Soul cools...slowly
I have pity for those who have lost a child
There is no consolation for them from outside
They have only to look within
Yes,
This is my last and greatest fear
My last and greatest anger
My last and greatest sorrow
I wish never to face these combined
For they may yet have the power to crush me

This was unexpected. I started an email, got interrupted, then returned to it to find that I had nothing to say. So I just wrote a line that I had floating in my head for the afternoon "Here I stand, facing down (fill in the blank as I did not know what I wanted to face)". The rest just flowed, about ten minutes worth of thoughtless writing. I found it funny at first as I pictured myself yelling at a shapeless feeling.

I have tried to come up with fears in the past and I usually came up blank...well, except for some of the normal stuff but no deep seated shake in my boots fear.

Perhaps it is fitting that I post Fear right after Love, afterall, Love is the base and Fear is probably a close second.

Jeffrey